Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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