Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
