Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
