I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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