i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
