too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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