Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
