She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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