No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
