i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
