Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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