therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
