Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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