am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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