Cold hands, warm shart.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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