ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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