i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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