playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
