She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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