yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
