Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
