After last night, I could never be a politician.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My vagina just clenched in fear
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