We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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