Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
