no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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