Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize