He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
