Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
