Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
