just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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