i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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