Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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