First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize