Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
