I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
