Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The Olympian is in my bed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize