really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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