Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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