I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
