Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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