Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
