The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
false alarm, still single
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