what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
