If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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