i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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