After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
