my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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