Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
