Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
