At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
