I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
