I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Two words: blizzard sex
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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