when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My liver just broke up with me...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize