the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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